Peter Beattie may have stepped aside, but it would still take courage to get between the former Queensland Premier and a camera, as Cathy Border writes. Cartoon by Sean Leahy.
The countdown is on and the political spin and stunts are in overdrive for the federal election. We’ve already seen that perennial favourite of kissing babies getting a work-out by both the prime minister John Howard and federal Labor leader Kevin Rudd. The PM’s morning walk in the Wallaby tracky daks is a permanent fixture. The only television advertisements Rudd hasn’t done are those in fluent Mandarin.
But I’m afraid the stunt contest is one they’ve both lost already.
And we’re not talking subtle stunts here. Rather, in-your-face, knock-’emover, so-brash-no-one-will-resist-running-it stunts.
That crown surely has to go to Queensland’s self-confessed media tart and master manipulator, the former premier Peter Beattie. His skills have been honed over many years.
As Queensland Labor’s state secretary, Beattie had a front-row seat to the skill of the Bjelke-Petersen administration in “feeding the chooks”. As any successful politician should, Beattie noted the techniques that worked and revamped them for his own rule as premier.
One of the most memorable was a media conference at Queensland’s famous Ekka in 2004, where Beattie dodged persistent questions about the power crisis and the revelation the government had been warned money raids on Energex would affect maintenance. The transformation into Joh-speak was complete with this Beattie answer: “I accept every word he said. I accept what we knew. I accept we knew what we know. I accept we knew what we didn’t know.”
But Beattie took it a step further. Admittedly, Peter Debnam and Ted Baillieu came terribly close to stealing the stunt crown with their breathless budgie-smuggler adventures. (At this point I personally thank Beattie on behalf of all Queenslanders for showing uncharacteristic restraint and not copying this scene stealer himself.) Although his youthful, fitness-fanatic former rival Lawrence Springborg tried the body image attack during one campaign, by posing bare chested, clad in a towel, ironing his shirt, it was but a momentary distraction.
Premier Pete had longevity on his side.
Who could forget the infamous listening tour of 2001 when Beattie invaded Underwater World on the Sunshine Coast to swim with sharks, resplendent in wetsuit? His assessment? “This is just normal Queensland politics.” Thanks so much for perpetuating that wild, wacky Queensland image. In hindsight it’s a wonder he didn’t tackle a crocodile and ask the television camera crews how many death rolls they’d like.
I’m serious. After years of observing the Beattie stunts it became brutally clear there was very little he wouldn’t attempt. As his former deputy Terry Mackenroth once observed, the most dangerous thing you could do was stand between Peter Beattie and a television camera. There was the photo opportunity with the KISS impersonators. Fortunately we only got one of the famous watermelon smiles, rather than a Gene Simmons re-enactment.
Then he met the English actors from The Bill and of course they were invited to the 15th floor for a photo opportunity. What happened next was truly surreal. Somehow, fact and fiction got blurred and Premier Beattie started asking the actors about policing in the United Kingdom and any recommendations they might have for Queensland.
Even the premier’s own mortality was fair game. In a longer end-of-year interview, Beattie revealed that his doctor had warned him he could die if he didn’t lose some kilos. And who couldn’t relate to the eternal battle with weight? So ensued a radio challenge and mega publicity.
Protestors even had their cause hijacked. Furious at the closure of Caboolture Hospital’s emergency department, locals launched a yellow ribbon awareness campaign against the Beattie government. Next thing, Premier Pete pops up in front of the cameras wearing a yellow ribbon, hand on heart with a straight face, pledging to help.
So it was all rather fitting that when the Beattie era ended in September, it also became a stunt. Before the last state election and after a series of crises, he stunned caucus collegues by suggesting he may bow out. Labor Mps in marginal seats got a case of the nervous Nellies, all too well aware their re-election chances hinged on having Beattie at the helm. With another thumping election victory under his belt it happened again.
At Labor’s state conference this year he announced he was considering his future. And then in September, wife Heather was on the front page of the Sunday Mail bemoaning that Beattie looked tired, and it was time to let someone else have a go. Even the premier’s press secretary had no idea about the story until he picked up his paper on Sunday morning.
Sure enough, the government spin the following morning was that it was business as usual with the post cabinet 1.30pm media conference. But come 1. 30pm, energy minister Geoff Wilson strode out to announce the premier would hold a later media conference. Poor Wilson was left to soldier on valiantly while journalists walked out in droves, aware a resignation announcement was imminent. History now shows that’s exactly what happened. The coalition was left wrong-footed with Opposition leader Jeff Seeney in the Torres Strait and Liberal leader Bruce Flegg in Cairns – a final ignominious kick to the conservatives who found the Beattie reign impenetrable, despite crisis after crisis.
But new premier Anna Bligh got her own parting gift. On the day Peter Beattie left his George Street office for the last time, his loyal and admiring staff staged an emotional guard of honour. The tears flowed. Peter Beattie wept as he walked and was still red-eyed when he handed in his resignation to Governor Quentin Bryce. Ms Bligh’s cabinet photo shoot was upstaged.
Peter Beattie tried to reinvent Queensland, hoping his “Smart State” mantra would replace the “Sunshine State” moniker.
Forget the Smart State; under Peter Beattie, Queensland became the Stunt State.
Cathy Border is political editor of Ten News Queensland, and was recognised for most outstanding contribution to journalism at the 2007 Queensland Media Awards. Sean Leahy is the editorial cartoonist with The Courier-Mail.
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